When the Holidays Hurt: Grieving Through the Season
- VIA Health Partners
- Sep 18
- 2 min read
By: Jasmine Blue, MA - Grief Counselor with VIA Health Partners
When the Holidays Hurt: Grieving Through the Season
For many, the holidays are wrapped in joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for those carrying grief, the season can feel like standing outside in the cold, watching a party you can't seem to join. Grief doesn't take a break for the holidays. If anything, the season can sharpen the ache, highlighting every empty seat at the table and every missing laugh. It's the quietest moments: the decorating, the shopping, the stillness after the festivities end, where loss often screams the loudest. Yet, there is no rulebook for grieving during the holidays or any season meant for celebration. There is only this truth - you are allowed to experience the holidays differently now!
Here is what grief during the holidays really looks like:
Feeling disconnected, even when surrounded by people.
Smiling outwardly while aching inwardly.
Feeling pressure to "keep it together" for the sake of tradition.
Wanting to skip everything and feeling guilty about it.
Remembering "what was" while wrestling with "what is."
As you go through this holiday season, remember that grieving during the holidays is not a failure of the "holiday spirit," it is a continuation of love expressed in tears, silence, memories and/or the stubborn courage it takes to show up at all. As you navigate your grief this holiday season, here are 5 gentle reminders:
You are allowed to change traditions. If the old ways feel too painful, create something new or do nothing at all.
You don't owe anyone your presence. Say "yes" only to what feels safe and supportive. Decline what feels overwhelming.
Honor your grief openly. Set a chair. Light a candle, Share a story. Let your loved one's absence be seen and felt.
Build in breathing room. Leave space between events. Step outside. Drive alone if you need the freedom to leave early.
Find tiny anchors of peace. A warm drink. A handwritten note. A walk at sunset. Small, steady acts of care that carry you through.
Remember, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are simply living through a season that asks your heart to stretch in ways others may not understand. This holiday, your grief is not a disruption; it's a testament to love that refuses to be silenced.
Grief doesn't ruin the holidays. It reshapes them. It asks us to make room for sorrow and celebration to sit at the same table.
We're here to support you - We listen. We support. We care. - Call or message us anytime!
For more information, call us anytime at 833.839.1113 or send us a message at www.viahp.org/contact-form.
You may also check our Grief Support Event Calendar for upcoming support group meetings near you at www.viahp.org/grief-support-event-calendar.
